Becoming a parent is often described as one of life’s most profound and joyous experiences. However, it’s also a time of significant change and stress. Many new mothers find themselves feeling overwhelmed, anxious, or even “a little cuckoo” in the months following the arrival of their baby. If you’ve experienced these feelings or know someone who has, you’re not alone. I experienced some difficulty as well.
About six months after having my son, I noticed a very dark thought in my mind. It was a whisper of something I really needed to pay attention to. I had been solo parenting for half of each week for months because my child’s father was traveling for work, and I didn’t have any family nearby, or other support, at the time. I was so sleep deprived, and I had been losing a lot of weight. Even my blood work showed how depleted I was.
This dark thought really surprised me, and I recognized it as my call to reach out for more help, which I did immediately. Thankfully, with a little bit of the right kind of support, I was back in a healthy state very quickly.
We’re not supposed to be perfect in life. We’re here to constantly learn and adjust. Let’s explore why the postpartum period is so challenging, and how to navigate this altered state with more understanding and support.
The Emotional Rollercoaster of New Motherhood
The transition to motherhood brings a whirlwind of physical, emotional, and psychological changes. It’s not just the exhaustion from sleepless nights and the constant demands of caring for a newborn; it’s also the profound shift in identity and responsibility. Here are several reasons why new mothers might feel overwhelmed:
Hormonal Changes
After childbirth, women experience a dramatic drop in hormone levels, particularly estrogen and progesterone. This hormonal shift can significantly impact mood, leading to feelings of anxiety, sadness, and irritability. This is often referred to as the "baby blues," and it typically resolves within a few weeks. However, if symptoms persist, it could be indicative of postpartum depression, a more severe condition that requires medical attention.
Ayurvedically speaking, there is an increase in vata dosha - in the air and space elements. In any change we go through, vata goes out of balance. Transitions are special times in which rebalancing is always necessary.
Sleep Deprivation
Newborns have irregular sleep patterns, and many parents find themselves awake multiple times during the night. Chronic sleep deprivation can lead to cognitive impairment, heightened stress, and emotional instability. The vata dosha gets way out of whack and it can also throw off the other doshas off too. The lack of restorative sleep can make it difficult for new mothers to cope with the demands of parenting, contributing to feelings of being overwhelmed or losing touch with reality.
Identity Shift
The transition to motherhood is a significant life change that often affects a woman’s sense of self. The shift from being an individual to a caregiver can be challenging, and new mothers may struggle with feelings of inadequacy or loss of identity. Balancing the demands of a new baby with personal goals, relationships, and self-care can create a sense of overwhelm and confusion. No mother feels like she’s getting it right, but some of us are harder on ourselves than others.
Social Pressure and Expectations
Society often sets high expectations for new mothers, with an emphasis on being the perfect parent. The pressure to maintain a career, a flawless appearance, manage household responsibilities, and excel in parenting can be overwhelming. Many mothers feel the weight of these expectations, which can exacerbate feelings of inadequacy and stress.
Lack of Support
The postpartum period can be isolating, especially if a mother lacks a strong support system. Feelings of loneliness and isolation can intensify the emotional challenges of new motherhood. Having a supportive network of family, friends, or postpartum support groups can make a significant difference in managing these feelings. Single moms especially need, and deserve, a lot of support! I’m especially grateful for all the friends who cooked me dinner or ran errands for me.
Navigating the Postpartum Journey
Understanding that these feelings are common is the first step toward addressing them. Here are some strategies to help manage and mitigate the overwhelm of new motherhood:
Seek Professional Help
If feelings of being overwhelmed persist or intensify, it’s important to seek help from a healthcare provider. Postpartum depression and anxiety are serious conditions that require professional intervention. A therapist or counselor can provide valuable support and strategies for managing thoughts and emotions. An Ayurvedic practitioner or postpartum doula can help you get back to a state of balance through natural methods that address the complex mind-body changes taking place.
Prioritize Self-Care
Taking time for self-care is crucial. Even small moments of rest, relaxation, or engaging in a favorite hobby can make a difference. Prioritizing self-care helps new mothers maintain their well-being and better cope with the demands of parenting.
Build a Support Network
Surrounding yourself with a supportive community can be incredibly beneficial. Connect with other new mothers through yoga for new moms, online forums, or local community programs. Sharing experiences and receiving support from others who understand the challenges of new motherhood can provide comfort and practical advice. When I had my kid, I made friends with every woman I met who had a kid around the same age as me, especially ones who were within walking distance to my house!
Communicate Openly
Open communication with your partner, family, and friends about your feelings and needs is essential. Letting others know how they can support you and expressing your struggles can help alleviate some of the emotional burden.
Set Realistic Expectations
It’s important to acknowledge that perfection is not attainable and to set realistic expectations for yourself. Accepting that it’s okay to ask for help and to make mistakes can reduce the pressure and allow you to focus on what truly matters—caring for yourself and your baby.
Establish a Routine
Creating a routine can provide structure and predictability in the chaotic early days of parenthood. A routine helps manage the demands of caring for a newborn and can provide a sense of normalcy and control. And sleep, sleep, sleep as much as you can. Let me repeat this. Get as much sleep as you can during this time. It makes a world of difference.
Next Steps
Feeling overwhelmed or a little crazy after having a baby is a common experience that many new mothers face. Understanding the underlying reasons for these feelings and implementing strategies for support and self-care can make a significant difference in navigating the postpartum journey. It’s essential to recognize that seeking help and finding ways to care for yourself are important steps in ensuring both your well-being and that of your baby.
For a deeper exploration of these themes, don’t miss Episode 148 of the Wisdom of the Body podcast, where I interview Yael Goldstein, author of The Possibilities and other works. Yael’s insights offer valuable perspectives on managing the emotional and psychological challenges of new motherhood.
Feel free to share your experiences and thoughts in the comments or reach out if you need support. I have helped dozens of women through this process, and know a lot of Ayurvedic postpartum doulas, so I can connect you with someone who can provide help to you at home too. Remember, you’re not alone on this journey.
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