Do you ever feel yourself holding your voice back?
I was so surprised to find out when studying conflict resolution years ago that silence is equal to violence when it comes to human connection.
The framework showed us that if we wanted to be in a state of connection with another person, then it's listening, sharing and understanding that helps us connect. That made sense.
However, deep conversations are not always positive - because sometimes we must share that we are experiencing or have experienced something unpleasant - but what kills connection is violence - yelling, blaming, pointing fingers, or even physical violence. When this happens, then we enter a mode of disconnection. It's an art form to work through discomfort.
But I was really surprised to learn that silence equally kills connection. If you are biting your tongue about something you are feeling in conversation, then you are in a state of disconnect.
Silence can ruin a relationship or a group dynamic where connection is necessary.
Hey, you don't have to connect if you don't want to, but if you do, then stay out of violence and silence. To do that, you need to learn some tools.
Stay out of silence and violence...
Follow the feeling.