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How to Know if You Have Balanced Love and Attachment

What is love anyway? Have scientists found a specific biomarker for it? Maybe an organ or hormone that is responsible for making it? Perhaps it’s oxytocin, what people refer to as the love hormone because it’s boosted during those primal bonding moments we experience with others. But we all have a sense that there are different kinds of love because energetically we can direct our love towards people, objects and ideas. We can even direct our love to ourselves. We have different kinds of relationships and feelings. One of my Ayurveda teachers, Dr. Vasant Lad, used to tell us that the Kapha dosha is love. Read on to learn about what Kapha dosha is, and whether you may have too much of it, too little, or perhaps even kapha that is stuck inside you.


What is Kapha


In Sanskrit, the term "Kapha" (कफ) refers to one of the three doshas, or fundamental energies, that are always shifting and changing, but you may have some dominant patterns with. Kapha represents the principles of stability, lubrication, and structure within the body. It is associated with qualities such as heaviness, coolness, moistness, and solidity. Kapha governs various physiological functions, including maintaining the structure of the body, providing lubrication to joints and tissues, regulating fluid balance, supporting immune function, and promoting emotional stability. It is often wrongfully assumed that Kapha body types are overweight, and they can be - just like anyone else, but they may also just be a healthy person who is super dense or watery by nature. They are the sturdy people that you rely on. Why would you ever want them to be a butterfly? Well, maybe if they are being too stubborn, because that’s a thing that often happens with Kapha.


Kapha dosha is characterized by qualities such as heaviness, stability, coolness, lubrication, and cohesion. When Kapha is in balance, it supports functions such as strength, stability, nourishment, and immunity. However, when Kapha becomes imbalanced, it can manifest in different ways, including being depleted, excessive or even stuck.


Not enough Kapha


Depleted Kapha leads to feelings of weakness, instability, and vulnerability. Symptoms of depleted Kapha may include:

  • Dry skin and hair

  • Brittle nails

  • Joint pain or stiffness

  • Weak immune system

  • Anxiety or nervousness


Causes of depleted Kapha may include excessive stress, inadequate nourishment, eating too many dry foods, being in the desert or wind, overexertion, or prolonged illness.


Treatment for depleted Kapha focuses on nurturing and replenishing Kapha energy through practices that promote stability, nourishment, and rest. This may include consuming warm, nourishing foods, practicing self-care rituals, getting plenty of rest, and engaging in grounding activities.


Too much Kapha


Excess Kapha leads to a sense of heaviness, congestion, and stagnation. Symptoms of excess Kapha may include:

  • Weight gain or fluid retention

  • Slow metabolism

  • Lethargy or excessive sleepiness

  • Increased mucus production

  • Digestive sluggishness or congestion


Causes of excess Kapha may include consuming heavy, sweet, or oily foods, lack of physical activity, cold and damp environments, or emotional overindulgence. 


Yes, you can love too much. Love is considered to have a brahmana effect, anabolic, building. We want attachment and growth, but healthy regeneration requires that it is tempered with detachment and ongoing destruction. That’s not a nice image for some, but others - like those of you who dry brush your body or do fasting - get what I’m saying here. In fact, one of the Ayurvedic texts I have says that terrorizing someone is a treatment for excess Kapha. (All the Vatas and Pittas are like, “Hell, no!”)



More accessible treatment for excess Kapha may include dietary adjustments to favor light, warming, and dry foods, regular exercise and practices to promote circulation and metabolism, as well as incorporating herbs and spices with heating, drying and stimulating properties.


Stuck Kapha


But your Kapha can be in the perfect amount, and simply just get stuck. Chances are that your inner fire out of whack too. If this happens, then it’s helpful to promote a balanced metabolism, liquidity, flow, movement, warmth, and stimulation. This may include saunas, moderate exercise, yoga, massage, warming clear soups, and stimulating and liquefying herbs. If there is a lot of toxicity stuck in the body, then I often recommend panchakarma or another type of Ayurvedic cleanse.


You’ll feel like your Kapha is healthy when you experience balanced energy, love, attachment, stability and even memory - all happening within properly formed bodily tissues. This is the goal! Identifying and addressing imbalances in Kapha energy can help restore harmony and vitality to your body and mind. 


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